My Father

My father in the Alps during a family vacation in Europe

As many of you know, this Sunday is Father's Day,

and I wanted to share a special blog post to celebrate my father,

Kevin Ray Trentham

I would not say that I had a "conventional" childhood, and for that, I am thankful. I have been blessed with parents that really challenged me. I mean they REALLY challenged me. It wasn't just a "you can do it" and a pat on the back attitude. It was a "you're gonna do it, and like it" attitude, and guess what...I did do it, and I did indeed grow to like it. I was raised in a home where maturity, self discipline, integrity, initiative, and perseverance were EXPECTED. I was expected to do things and being given responsibilities at a young age that many people in their twenties aren't expected to be doing. My father sought out to instill in my brother and I the kind of things that would make us constructive members of society, leaders in our careers, loving and devoted husbands, and wise and patient parents.

My father helping me troubleshoot a computer problem

In middle school, my father saw an opportunity to begin teaching me about how to become self sufficient with finances. I had never had an allowance before, so my father began to pay me based on my report card grades. I could then invest that money if I chose in an imaginary bank that my dad set up. There was a contract that was written up declaring the interest rates and as well as ability to access the funds. Using that imaginary bank I learned a lot about setting aside emergency funds, budgeting, as well as how to take advantage of compounding interest. Money stewardship was something that my father had a strong desire for me to understand and implement, as I began stepping into adulthood.

As I finished up middle school, my father challenged me further by asking me to start and run a small business. He gave me a one thousand dollar loan, that I combined with some money I had saved up, and I purchased a used John Deere walk-behind commercial lawn mower. From there, I created business cards, and fliers and went door to door for two months before mowing season drumming up business. At first I got a few customers out of pity, but my father told me that if I provided an excellent service at a fair and competitive price, soon other customers would come. So I took those first customers as opportunities to prove myself, and within the first two years I had driven every competitor out of my neighborhood. By the time I graduated highschool, that business was a limited liability corporation that took care of 40 or 50 acres a week on top of frequent landscaping projects, all while managing to keep my original customers. How many middleschoolers do you see being challenged to be enteprenuers?

My father with hunting with his father (James Ray Trentham) and his dog (Maggie) in Canada

In high school, my father pushed me to motivate and challenge myself as I moved through the gauntlet of academics. Education is something my parents value highly, and as such, my father has faithfully encouraged me to succeed academically and to continue my education as far as I can go. Despite my many attempts to drop the ball or throw in the towel completely, I managed to graduate with honors from high school. Had my father not held the line with me and not demanded that I apply myself, I can guarantee you, that I would have been quite content to lay around the house doing nothing with my life. But more than a high GPA, what my father has always encouraged me to do is to figure out where I'm heading, make a plan, and then work with everything I have to achieve that goal. Even still, my father is an ever present encouragement and counsel reminding me of the same lessons that he has been laying out for me since I was a child.

My father sharing some Godly counsel at my sending out service before I left for Cambodia.

God has been present in and around my life since the day I was born. I have been blessed to have been raised by parents who themselves have surrendered their lives to God, and who's hearts' desire it was to see their own children enter into the Kingdom. A strong prayer life, devotional life, and church life all were heavenly treasures that were fostered in me from a very young age. We met as a family many mornings to get into the word of God, to share what we were learning in our private time with God, and to seek the Lord as a family. In our free time, we were encouraged to set aside time to spend in the word of God, and among our friends we were called upon to set a Godly example. To be the influence instead of being influenced. When struggling with a decision of any sort, the Bible was the reigning source of guidance. And a consistent and systematic devotional life was nurtured out of a love of God and His word.

My mother and father on the back porch of our old house in Arrington, TN

Being a member of a church is something that my father also strived to instill in my brother and I. Not a member as in a title or membership, but a member, like a member of a family. When someone becomes a member of your family, there is not some piece of paper that has to be signed off on, or a certain amount of money that must be paid, a member is a person who is active and sewn strongly into the social quilt of that community. Over the years, my family and I have been members of a few different churches. In each of those churches my parents served the church in many ways, and my brother and I were expected to do the same. Whether it was childcare, cleaning, setting up for events, teaching, or even if it was just folding bulletins, my brother and I always found ourselves with plenty of things to be doing in and around the church.

While I was growing up, my father wanted me to experience church planting. We found a few churches over the years that we had the pleasure of joining with to lay the foundation for a thriving church body. One church started in a living room, another in a school cafeteria, and another in an elementary school gym. We would arrive at church before the sun was up, unload trailers of sound equipment, staging, chairs, and curtains. By the time everything was in place, we sometimes would have enough time to grab some waffle house before we had to head back to help with the children's ministry. After the services were over and most everyone had gone home, we would then start to break down all the classrooms and the auditorium. Then pack it all away into the trailers. It would be middle afternoon before we got back home, but the relationships that we forged and the lessons that we learned during that time are irreplaceable. I am very thankful for the importance of God and His church that my father placed in my brother and I.

My mother and father

My father also laid out a loving and Godly vision of marriage. My mother and father partnered together to bring glory to God, to raise up my brother and I, and to better the world around them. In a world where parents dont get married, and where many divorce, breaking the bonds of unity that they swore to, I count myself blessed to have lived in a home where giving up was not considered an option. If there was an issue, it was worked through. Not through threats, or foul words, but through seeking each other's counsel and through a desire to move in unity. Marriage is a beautiful thing, created by God. As such, it comes under constant attack by the Enemy. The Enemy seeks to pervert and destroy all things that are Godly. I am blessed that my father and mother both have taken their vows to heart, and have stood their ground. They have showed me what the world at large fails to believe. Marriage is not only possible, but it is Godly, beautiful inside and out, and it should valued above all other earthly possessions.

My father standing with me beneath a jack fruit tree in Cambodia

Another vision that my father continually shared with my brother and I is having a worldwide perspective. I cannot tell you the number of times my father would sit us down and tell us that it was not the pot-head kids we were sitting next to in class that we would be competing for jobs against in our futures, but it was the kids our age in foreign countries that are laboring away studying three or four languages, becoming educated in classical literature and studying things in high school, that most people dont even study in university. He would tell me that a lot of the people that I will be competing for jobs against are living in countries where the living conditions are much worse than the US. They want what I have, and they are willing to work ten times harder for a fraction of the pay to get it. This was said not to drive me to become a competitive person stepping on others to get ahead, but he was sharing with me that I can not just compare myself to those who are around me to determine where I will stand in the job market in the next few years. I must widen my perspective significantly to realize the variety, and the caliber of people that will be jockeying for the same positions. Having the highest grade in the class is nothing if I was just giving half an effort. He showed me that I shouldn't be content because I felt good about how I stacked up to others, my future success wouldn't be determined by them.

My father and I buying some drinks in Phnom Penh, Cambodia

A perspective of the caliber of people was not the only worldwide perspective my father taught me. He also showed my brother and I how easy it is to travel. We traveled through Europe at the price that most families spend visiting Disney Land. My father has taken us to Mexico, Austria, and Italy, as well as having traveled through many of the States in America. Through all of our travels my father shared with us his budgeting strategy so should we ever have the opportunity to travel on our own, we would recognize what it would take and how to go about it. Not only did he teach me how to travel, but he opened my eyes to the fact that the world does not stop at the US borders. There is a whole world out there, and once you leave the US, nothing is obligated to run the way things run in the US. There's different currency, there's different government, there's different business food, there's different advertising, there's different transportation, different language, different culture, different everything. I dont know about you, but I'd take an experience like that over Disney land every time. I have toured through buildings and locations that until then had only been little pictures in my history textbooks. I have bartered in markets in foreign languages, I have gotten lost and had to find my way back using transportation systems unlike anything in the United States. I have seen wonders that were built by civilizations that make America look like a newborn baby. My father has been blessed to have the means to take us so many places. But I am so thankful that given the means, he has seen the great lessons that traveling teaches, and taken us to so many great places.

My father kicking back and enjoying the warm ocean breeze in Cambodia

Traveling is something I have really taken to heart. The worldwide vision that my father instilled in me has really fueled my heart for missions. And not only has it fueled my heart for missions, but it has also enabled me to go and pursue that passion. As I write this, I have been living in Cambodia for a year and a half. Much of what lead me up to this point are things that came from lessons my father sowed into me such as an understanding of travel, dealing with other cultures, and appreciating people who arent like me. Had my father not taken the time to lay the foundation for these things, I dont know where or what I would be doing right now. Late last year, my father and mother made the looonnng flight from their home in North Carolina, to the Cambodia to come visit me and to see what all I had accomplished. I was humbled that my father would push his work aside and spend such a large amount of his budget to come and see in person what I have been passionately sowing into. He came and sat in on my classes and met my students. He listened while I explained things, asked questions, and shared his perspective. Even though I am out of the house and on my own, he continues to encourage me, teach me, and support me. He has stayed connected to what I am doing seeking to understand my vision and perspective on things, and even if he doesnt understand something he supports me and encourages me.

My father and I enjoying a meal on the beach in Kampot, Cambodia

I have truly been blessed by God to have been chosen to be the son of Kevin Trentham. I surely couldnt have chosen anyone better myself. He has driven me when I have been lazy, he has encouraged me when I have struggled with doubt, he has defended me when I have come under attack, he has pushed me when I have become content. He has taught me more than I will ever be able to recite. And all of this without any expectation of reward. My father's satisfaction comes in me pursuing excellence.

My brother (Garrett) with my father and his dog (Maggie) displaying the day's kills

My father has taught me a lot, and for that I am very grateful. But beyond what he has taught me, I am especially thankful for the way that he has taught me. His did not only use words and commands to teach me things, but he lived the lessons out. He taught me by example. He bore witness to the truth of his statements with his daily life. Working hard, serving humbly, compassionately loving, and standing on the truth no matter what. As a child I watched my father much much closer than I listened to him. Though he used words often to explain lessons to me, his example of the christian life, finances, work ethic, marriage, education, travel, and parenting have been the things that have impacted me the most. My father has blessed me tremendously all my life. I am thankful to have such an amazing man committed to raising me up to adulthood, and walking with me as I navigate my life. And more than all these things I am so thankful that he introduced me to my Heavenly Father, and His perfect son, who died for me on the cross. Of all the gifts my father could have bought me, none would have compared with the pleasure of knowing my Creator, my God. Of all the things my father has shared with me, the knowledge of my Savior, Jesus Christ, supersedes them all.

Thank you dad, for all that you have done. Notice and unnoticed.

I am who I am today because of the sacrifices you made

continually investing your time, energy, and prayers into me.

Happy Father's Day, Dad,

-Jonathan Ray Trentham

Left to Right: my brother (Garrett), me, and my father all working on my truck